So, I figured as long as I'm on this Hero's Journey, I might as well consult an Oracle. Delphi was a bit too far away, so I settled for a Christmas-themed flower supply store in Wallingford where--after venturing through a "Winter Wonderland" of frightening yet festive robots--one could enter the private chambers of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
As I went in with my props-mates, Rudolph offered us a clicking, jerking, animatronic greeting. We chatted with the beast, and he sang Happy Birthday to one of my co-workers, all the while rolling his vacantly-painted eyes in a creepy, robotic fashion.
Finally, I asked the Ora...I mean Rudolph to tell my fortune*, and he told me, "You will wake up happy."
Satisfied with my consultation, I went looking for a cyclops, or perhaps a hydra, figuring that's my next course of action. There weren't any at the park.
*For a moment, I thought about asking why Bono counts "1, 2, 3, 14" in that U2 song. I mean, that's a pretty big leap from 3 to 14. I'll save that question for another Oracle, I guess