Saturday, May 10, 2003


I tend to think about a lot of things under the delirium of being sick. I got a nasty cold-thing earlier in the week, and I'm just starting to get better. However, under my icky daze, I found time to ponder great questions in life. Who am I? What am I going to do with my future? Why do I have "4 dimensional Mandelbrot set" written on my hand? Being sick induces strange things.

I think I may have found a solution to my art focus problem. On a glass trip to Louisville the other day, I saw some work by Lisabeth Sterling, and was absolutely astounded. She does very detailed and elaborate engravings on glass, and it struck me that if I should try this, it may very well be the perfect combination of 2D and 3D that I've been looking for. I'm going to give some engravings a shot for my final project this year, and see how I feel about it.

Needless to say, that is a big relief to me. Consequently, it made room for some other worrisome bits. May is flying out from underneath me, my last classes are this week, and before I know it, graduation will fling my friends out into the real world and punt me into Massachusetts for the summer. I get really clingy at this time of year. My very close friends are going away, and I would like nothing more than to spend time with them before they vanish. However, this time of year is so very busy, it's hard to do. Excessive clinginess, therefore, is frowned upon.

I spend too much time at Rodes. Brendan assures me otherwise, but would he really come out and tell me if he thought I did? Becoming a near default regular at the place does have its comforts and advantages, but it also means I'm not a guest anymore, so no one's really obligated to treat me like one. It's very understandable, everyone is so busy. I feel invasive and in the way a lot of times, but every time I resolve to stay away and in my own space, I have the need to not be alone. I do need to round up all my things from there at some point, and pack them to be sent home. Bleh, I don't like the end of the year, it's too exhausting and heavy.

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